Should you or should you not become a parent?

The word parenting may seem to be full of joy, happiness, and excitement. It is an unavoidable question that many married couples will consider starting a family at a time perhaps willingly or because of constant peer pressure from their family, friends, or relatives. 

It’s a heavy task that not many of us are prepared for it. Only when it is thrown at our hands, we’ll start learning that this parenting job is now a lifetime commitment and a heavy responsibility to ensure our children will have a life and future better than us as parents.

Traditionally, a marriage will never be considered complete without a house full of children, so the Chinese say. The continuity of a next-of-kin is important to many grandparents. It helps not only in maintaining the family generations for as long as one can remember, but also ensuring the country has enough manpower to sustain, develop and grow its economy.

However, as we progressively moved away from our usual practice of customs, traditions, and norms due to modernization in our lifestyles as we live in an inevitable fast-paced environment. The question of one should become a parent remain unanswered. It may not be a priority for many married couples now. So, should you or should you not become a parent?

If your answer is Yes. These are some of the most rewarding moments about being a parent.  

The feeling of getting & sharing more love than before

There is no amount of money earned that can be replaced by an unforgiving love and blessings from your children. They are, no matter how old they have grown into or how rebellious their behaviours are, and still as a parent, you will always treat them as the joy of your life. A gift that is so precious that one can only experience its pain when it’s taken away. 

Grandparents’ life

Unbeknownst to many, one of the many wonderful moments a mother can embrace is when she’s surrounded by plentiful grandchildren. A family gathering from at least three generations is one of the most rewarding experiences grandparents can ever hope for. Truly a reflection of the past, present, and future that showcases the differences of one’s life is at varying stages, all come together for one purpose – family bonding time. 

Appreciation to your parents

Many of us take our parents for granted. As we grew into one selfish adulthood on a planet that’s never short of materialism expectation. We’ll stray from reality and began to obsess with fulfilling our desires without taking into consideration of our parent’s needs, wellbeing, and feelings. 

When you become a parent, you finally get to understand why they act the way they act, how much they have endured to bring you up the best possible way even if it’s an arduous and difficult task that seems far-fetching. You’ll realize how much love parents have for their children, and you will fall in love and be more appreciative of them again.

On the contrary, if you are still contemplating if parenthood is for you. You are not the only one with a swirling question over your head, spinning constantly of wanting you to settle down with ‘I should become a parent’. 

Here are some compelling reasons why parenthood is not as beautiful as it may sound.

Sacrifices waiting to be made.

You must be prepared to give up your singlehood freedom, adventurous ideas, and easy-going attitude. Your life will completely turn around and change. It is not about living your life as how you want it to be. You have to be physically and mentally prepared to sacrifice an incessant amount of time, financial capacity, and be ready for the constant sleep-deprived moment to live, provide and nurture your child, more than yourself. 

Unavoidable parenting stress.

All the above stressors apply even more if you are a single parent. Your work-life balance will be disturbed. Juggling between parenthood and working requires a great amount of emotional and physical strength, agility, and perseverance. There will be times when you feel like giving up. But you won’t. Seeing your child’s little smiles will probably destress you more than anything else in this world. 

Nightmare living with in-laws.

This may not happen to every parent. In most of our Asian culture, we prefer to stay nearer to our parents or have them live with us. It is also a duty as a grown-up child, now that we may have become a parent to take good care of their golden years. 

Most young couples nowadays value privacy as they would prefer to stay on their own. Therefore, living with in-laws may not be the best option. If you have children living in the same house as them, it may seem to constraint and restrict your way of living. Remember, most of us, before getting married, are used to staying, conversing, and confiding with our biological parents, not in-laws. 

Personality differences may arise. Thus, leading to personal conflict. However, not all in-laws are difficult to manage and understand. They are just protective of their children.

In a nutshell, a single and unattached person may never understand the true meaning and reasons why becoming a parent is the most wonderful experience in life. This is something that you have to become a parent to understand and cannot be explained in merely a few words or reading an article about parenting.

Regardless of the decision of whether parenting suits you or not, life as a parent shall not be taken lightly. Without your parents, you won’t be here reading this article living the life whichever best way you can and want.

To close this chapter, never forget to love your parents for who they are, not for what you expect them to be when they get older.